Have you ever told yourself you’re going to do something, but you don’t? You have every intention of creating that new habit, or doing that project, and for whatever reason, it doesn’t get done. I think most of us struggle with this at one time or another. Even when you know that if you did this, things would improve, or your life would get better. But what is holding you back? Most of the time the reason it doesn’t happen is because your paradigm is in control, and you haven’t really made a decision, a committed decision.
The knowing doing gap is knowing what to do to make an improved change, but not doing it and not knowing why. We keep doing things that we know won’t give us the results we want. We say we will make a change, but excuses come up, distractions happen, and we are easily deterred from doing what we know we should do. But let’s not “should” all over ourself. Let’s get to the bottom of why it happens and what can be done to get the results you want.
We first must understand that it is our paradigms that keep us where we are. It is our mental programming, our habitual thinking that keeps us stuck. In order for something to change, we must change the paradigm. A paradigm will talk you out of anything you decide to do that takes you out of your comfort zone. It is the primary cause of results.
In order to experience permanent change, we must change the primary cause, the paradigm. It is more than just changing behavior. If we don’t change the paradigm, any behavioral change will not last. To change the paradigm will require persistence.
First you must decide what you really want. If it’s something someone else wants for you, or things you think you should do, that’s not good enough. It must come from inside you. So how do you find a strong enough WHY to reach what you want? Look at the results you will get when you make the change. You have to WANT that change bad enough so that you are willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish it, to get the results you truly desire.
This is true no matter what you are trying to do, whether it’s to reach a certain weight, quit smoking, establish a morning routine, or anything that requires a change of habit or starting something new.
When you recognize how the paradigm is controlling your behavior, then you can begin to change it. It’s important to note that you can’t just remove a bad habit, you must replace it with the habit or behavior that you desire. Removing a habit creates a void and a void will always be filled, and you want to fill it with what you want, and not let it be open to any thing that comes along. You be in control. You decide.
So, what do you want? What habit would you like to change or start? Your want must be something strong enough that you will persist and push through any obstacles that come up. Keep the end result in mind. You must decide that this is what you’re going to do. Nothing happens until a decision is made. It must be a committed decision. When you are committed and your want is strong enough, you will not let anything get in your way. You may need to use your will to help you somedays, and that’s fine. That need will diminish as you progress.
Even the slightest change can make a huge difference in your outcome. Take baby steps as you start if necessary. Don’t take on too many changes at once, just one or two at a time. Once those are established, then make another change. Keep going. The only people who fail are the ones who give up.
When you begin to change your paradigms and see how you are in control of your results, you can then begin to go after the goals that you want. You now understand why you get the results you get, and you know what you need to do to change them.
Examine your habits. Find one habit you can change that will make a big difference in your life, decide you are going to change it, believe you can make it happen, take action and start! You can do it! Anything is possible when you make up your mind and understand how to create the changes and life you want. And don’t forget to celebrate your accomplishments.
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The impression of increase
One of my favorite lessons in my coaching program, Thinking Into Results, which is also in Wallace Wattles book, The Science of Getting Rich, is the Impression of Increase. Bob Proctor calls it the number one key to success. It is the premise of givers gain, which is based on the Law of Cause and Effect. As spiritual beings, it is normal and natural to seek increase. It is the urge of the spiritual essence in each one of us to find fuller expression.
Wattles states, “The desire for increase is inherent in all nature. It is the fundamental impulse of the universe. All human activities are based on the desire for increase. People are seeking more food, more clothes, better shelter, more luxury, more beauty, more knowledge, more pleasure – more life.”
Life is seeking expression. People will seek increase and will go where they find it. Increase is energy. Giving good energy or increase to everyone you meet is much the same as attracting good to you. When you give what others are seeking, you will in turn receive abundantly.
Giving must be spontaneous. When you are honest in your efforts to leave everyone with the impression of increase, it puts you in harmony with the higher side of the other person’s personality. Let your actions show that you are a giver.
There are all kinds of ways to give or leave someone with the impression of increase. It can be as simple as holding the door for someone, or a sharing a smile. Complimenting their dress or hair style, done sincerely, can have an enormous impact on someone else. We never know the profound impact that a small kind act or compliment can really have on someone. It needs to be made genuinely and without expecting anything in return.
Giving should be a habit. Learning to willingly give and generously receive can be life altering. You will find abundant good coming your way. It goes back to the law of cause and effect. The universe sends back to us what we give out.
Practice doing this with three people. Consider how you can leave them with the impression of increase every time you come in contact with them, whether in person or in communications. Continue this practice with these same people and you will find it will develop into a habit. This will expand and you will soon find you are leaving everyone you meet with the impression of increase.
Always give your best. Become the most effective person you can be. Give freely without thought of what you will receive in return. You will be providing increase where it is needed and sought. You then will be blessed with riches and abundance in life, and you will be in harmony with the laws of the universe, demonstrating that givers gain.
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Gratefully focused on the best
“The moment you permit your mind to dwell with displeasure upon things as they are, you begin to lose ground. You fix attention upon the common, the poor, the squalid, and the mean – and your mind takes the form of these things.” This is a quote by Wallace D. Wattles from his book, The Science of Getting Rich. He goes on to say in the same chapter on Gratitude, “The grateful mind is constantly fixed upon the best. Therefore, it tends to become the best; it takes the form or character of the best and will receive the best.”
It’s really important to pay close attention to what our mind is dwelling on, especially during this pandemic when so many are feeling distressed or “stuck” at home. Take a step back and know that everything “just is”. It is neither good nor bad until we perceive it to be a certain way. If the current situation is perceived as bad, then it will be a negative experience for the perceiver. If it is perceived as good, and the benefits are seen and appreciated, the experience will be positive and productive. Your thinking mind can make any situation good or bad, positive or negative. It’s all up to you. You get to decide how you want to make it.
A grateful mind is always looking for what’s good. It appreciates the good in every situation. Wattles calls it “the best”. When a mind is constantly searching for and seeing the good in everything, it becomes the goodness it sees. As Wattles says, “…it takes the form or character of the best AND will RECEIVE the best.” When you only see the “best”, what may have been a displeasure, is no longer. The displeasure is removed when always looking for and seeing the good. It is impossible to receive anything but the best because you are focused on best. Any negativity can’t exist in a mind that sees the good in everything. You therefore MUST attract to you the best. It’s by Law.
To cultivate a grateful mind, to always see the best, make a habit of practicing gratitude daily. Doing so can totally change your outlook. Gratitude is one of the highest vibrations. My clients often hear me tell them to turn to gratitude when facing difficulties, or any time their vibration is low. It’s impossible to be negative and grateful at the same time. They are opposites.
To keep your vibration high, stay away from newscasts, controversies and anything other than what’s good about the current situation. Just a couple minutes of news to stay informed is plenty. That’s enough time to learn what you need to know so that you won’t be ignorant about what’s going on. To flood your mind with 30 minutes, an hour or more, listening to show after show about the coronavirus will not help your mental state. Tune into things that are pleasurable. Find some good books to read like the Science of Getting Rich that will put you in a positive state. Protecting your mind and guarding what you let in, is always extremely important.
The Science of Getting Rich, is a wonderful book that has impacted many lives. The chapter on Gratitude is so powerful it makes for a great study on its own. Wattles tells us it is necessary to cultivate the habit of being grateful for everything, to give thanks continuously. Let’s start this new habit and expand our awareness of gratitude by starting our own study of this chapter. I challenge you to read this chapter everyday for 30 days. I am starting today and invite you to do the same. In 30 days, let me know what this new habit has done for your life. Find a partner to read with everyday. It’ll have you focused on looking for and seeing the “best” of everything life has to offer.
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In these unprecedented times, we have to change our thinking, get creative and find new ways of doing things. Our old way of thinking and doing things, in most cases, won’t work.
Most of us are “staying at home” and we don’t know how long this will last. Depending on where you live, it may already have been two or three weeks long. This is a real adjustment from life as we knew it. Many are stressed over the whole situation; some are already going “stir-crazy” staying home. Others are fighting depression. But we have a choice. We CAN turn the entire situation around by changing our perception of what is happening.
Let’s look at the good that is coming out of this; families are spending more time with their children, people are getting creative, neighbors are helping neighbors, and good will is everywhere. In many ways, it appears that society is getting back to what is truly important in life; loving, sharing, helping, family and friends, and creating.
If you find yourself in a difficult place, have lost your job, are worried about money, etc., as difficult and dire as it may seem, you must look at the good that is happening if you want things to change. You must have gratitude for what you have, every little thing counts. Often the little things become big things when you get into gratitude. Nothing is too insignificant to express gratitude for. When you get into the “feeling” of gratitude, you then can move the joy.
Let go of the thoughts that keep you down. Lift thought with gratitude and joy. It really is OK to be happy, laugh and enjoy life, even when times are hard. It will lift the cloud and let the light in again. There you can find relief.
When you are in gratitude, you are focused on what’s good in life, you notice the abundance and you’re not focused on the lack or what is missing. That’s when the shift happens. The more you practice gratitude, the more you notice the abundance and good in your life. I find myself looking for more things to be grateful for. It’s fun, make a game out of it.
This may sound trivial, but it really works. It’s by law. What you focus on is what you attract into your life. When you are thinking about not having enough, how to pay the bills, how am I going to… then you just get more of the same. When your thought is dwelling on what’s good, when you are FEELING gratitude and noticing the abundance and good surrounding you, you will attract more abundance. Ideas, resources, things you hadn’t thought of, will come to you, will come to your mind, and life will open up in ways you hadn’t imagined. Good brings with it more good.
Stay away from the television news casts that predict more hard times, more sickness, more lack. Don’t let yourself get sucked into their story. Create the story you want to live. Your thinking really can get you the results you want. Don’t live based on what the outside world is saying. Use your thinking mind, reject thoughts you don’t want manifested in your life, decide what you do want, fall in love with the idea, take action and create it. Even if you don’t know how, take action to move toward what you want. The way will open up. Action is an important step. In essence, think it…feel it…act on it…and you must get the results you desire.
Brainstorming is a great way to get creative and find new ideas. Find a partner that you can brainstorm with. The saying, “Two minds are better than one” will really work. Or get a group of people with similar desires and create. When a negative thought is brought to the table, say “next” and move on. Don’t give it any consideration. Only look at possibilities. The answer to any problem is already there. We just have to get on the same vibration with it to see the answer. Keep an open mind. Don’t let any limiting beliefs or thoughts stop you from moving forward. Anything really is possible.
Each person holds the key to any problem. It is all in our thinking, our perception and what we believe is possible. Quiet the chatter of limiting thinking, get into gratitude, find the joy and create the results you want. YOU have the thinking power to do it! Now go create it!
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