I want to change but it's not happening

Have you ever told yourself you’re going to do something, but you don’t? You have every intention of creating that new habit, or doing that project, and for whatever reason, it doesn’t get done. I think most of us struggle with this at one time or another. Even when you know that if you did this, things would improve, or your life would get better. But what is holding you back? Most of the time the reason it doesn’t happen is because your paradigm is in control, and you haven’t really made a decision, a committed decision.

The knowing doing gap is knowing what to do to make an improved change, but not doing it and not knowing why. We keep doing things that we know won’t give us the results we want. We say we will make a change, but excuses come up, distractions happen, and we are easily deterred from doing what we know we should do. But let’s not “should” all over ourself. Let’s get to the bottom of why it happens and what can be done to get the results you want.

We first must understand that it is our paradigms that keep us where we are. It is our mental programming, our habitual thinking that keeps us stuck. In order for something to change, we must change the paradigm. A paradigm will talk you out of anything you decide to do that takes you out of your comfort zone. It is the primary cause of results.

In order to experience permanent change, we must change the primary cause, the paradigm.  It is more than just changing behavior. If we don’t change the paradigm, any behavioral change will not last. To change the paradigm will require persistence.

First you must decide what you really want. If it’s something someone else wants for you, or things you think you should do, that’s not good enough. It must come from inside you. So how do you find a strong enough WHY to reach what you want? Look at the results you will get when you make the change. You have to WANT that change bad enough so that you are willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish it, to get the results you truly desire.

This is true no matter what you are trying to do, whether it’s to reach a certain weight, quit smoking, establish a morning routine, or anything that requires a change of habit or starting something new.
When you recognize how the paradigm is controlling your behavior, then you can begin to change it. It’s important to note that you can’t just remove a bad habit, you must replace it with the habit or behavior that you desire. Removing a habit creates a void and a void will always be filled, and you want to fill it with what you want, and not let it be open to any thing that comes along. You be in control. You decide.

So, what do you want? What habit would you like to change or start? Your want must be something strong enough that you will persist and push through any obstacles that come up. Keep the end result in mind. You must decide that this is what you’re going to do. Nothing happens until a decision is made. It must be a committed decision. When you are committed and your want is strong enough, you will not let anything get in your way. You may need to use your will to help you somedays, and that’s fine. That need will diminish as you progress.

Even the slightest change can make a huge difference in your outcome. Take baby steps as you start if necessary. Don’t take on too many changes at once, just one or two at a time. Once those are established, then make another change. Keep going. The only people who fail are the ones who give up.

When you begin to change your paradigms and see how you are in control of your results, you can then begin to go after the goals that you want. You now understand why you get the results you get, and you know what you need to do to change them.

Examine your habits. Find one habit you can change that will make a big difference in your life, decide you are going to change it, believe you can make it happen, take action and start! You can do it! Anything is possible when you make up your mind and understand how to create the changes and life you want. And don’t forget to celebrate your accomplishments.

Image by 1239652 from Pixabay 

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