“If you want prosperity and success but do not strive to change in any way, how can you expect things to be any different?” This quote is taken from Raymond Holliwell’s book, Working with the Law, in the chapter, Law of Compensation. In order to get different results in your life, to achieve success on any level, and to create the prosperity you want, something must change. The only way to change your conditions and to receive whatever it is you want in life, is to change habits that keep you where you are. That requires you to make a decision, change your mind, which will change your behavior and then you can attract what you want.
You must cease looking at what you don’t want so that you will stop attracting it into your life. It begins with a change in your thinking. Adjusting your thought is the key to successful living. It’s the Law of Attraction in action that attracts to you what your thought is focused on. If you want to attract something different, think of what you want to have in your life. Do not look at what’s wrong or what you don’t want. Keep your thought focused in the other direction, moving forward, to where you want to go.
In the same chapter on Compensation Holliwell explains, if you are working for success, order is the first law, and must be the first application. He gives the example of looking at the home and says lack of money is no excuse for a disorderly home. Even if your furniture is boxes, it can be neat and clean. When you want a better home, better things, a better life in any way, it takes altering your mind first. He says, “It’s useless to pray for a new home if you cannot take care of your present one.” If you want a better life, open your mind to a better way of thinking. Look at your habits that are keeping you where you are. What small change could you make that would make a significant difference in your habitual behavior. Just one habit at a time. Refer to my blog from August 26th titled, “Want More In Your Life? Let’s Look At Change”, where I go into more detail about changing habits.
Compensation means equal returns for that which is given. It means a balance of the quality or service that is extended to another. It’s according to the Law of Compensation that a person who performs to the very best of their ability, becomes better, will attract better and will be given greater things to do. When you outgrow your present place, you will attract better because you will have grown. It’s law that you must earn what you receive, or you cannot keep it. If someone appears to do so, it won’t continue. It will level out.
Holliwell gives three common points that can cause someone to fail to use the Law correctly.
1. Do you expect something for nothing? It’s a violation of the Law to get something without paying for it and feel good about it. You must always be willing to pay your way. People that aren’t honest, who hang back to let others pay, may think they’re getting away without paying but their thinking is repelling the good and money they could be attracting. A cheat will end up paying much more for his violations of the Law.
2. Do you hunt for cheap things? Cheap thoughts bring cheap returns. There are no bargains in life. Cheap thoughts lower your vibration. Dishonesty, cheating, and bargaining violate the Law. It comes from a place of lack or fear. In reality, abundance is all around, but your mind is not open to it when entertaining this type of thinking.
3. Do you begrudge spending money? If you hate paying your bills, you are stopping the flow of money to you. Every time you pay a bill, express gratitude for the service or items. Happily release the money, even when it’s your last dollar. To comply with the Law, decide what your need is. If it is greater than the dollar in your wallet, then spend the dollar cheerfully. When you hold back it limits the supply you receive.
You will find the success and prosperity you seek when following the Law of Compensation. It will take a shift in your thinking as well as creating new habits to make the change that will allow you to manifest what you want. When working with the Laws, you will enjoy and experience more happiness, health, and abundance. When you see the power of the laws in your life, you’ll wish you had known them and applied them sooner.
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“Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space.”
I recently heard Brendon Burchard talking about this quote in a coaching session. He said that Oprah Winfrey has it visibly posted in her company. Here, in Oprah’s words, is the interesting story of how she received this quote:
“Nobody but you is responsible for your life. It doesn’t matter what your mama did; it doesn’t matter what your daddy didn’t do. You are responsible for your life. You are responsible for the energy that you create for yourself, and you’re responsible for the energy that you bring to others. One of the best examples of this was Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor who was on the show talking about the book, My Stroke of Insight. She was a 37-year-old, Harvard-educated brain scientist who suffered a massive stroke in the left part of her brain. She couldn’t speak or remember her own mother, but when doctors and nurses walked into her room, she knew from the right brain who was on her side. She could feel their energy.
Dr. Taylor sent me a sign that I have hanging in my makeup room. It says, ‘Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space.’ And I ask the same thing in my home and at my companies. Thank you, Dr. Taylor, for that simple but powerful lesson. All life is energy and we are transmitting it at every moment. We are all little beaming little signals like radio frequencies, and the world is responding in kind.”
This quote is loaded with wisdom that I could talk about, but I want to home in on the message on the sign. Ever since I heard this story related by Brendon, I’ve been more conscious of the energy I bring into a room or a situation.
I recently had a situation that I knew would need a great deal of positive energy. The situation had the potential to be extremely difficult, with an unhappy outcome. I talked to some of the other people that where going to be there and shared the importance of taking positive energy into the room with us. I went in with no judgements, expecting a good outcome, with positive energy and love for everyone there. I am happy to say that the outcome was good, and I am so grateful for the way the situation went and the results that came from it.
Interestingly enough, one person there had a different perception. He did not think the outcome was as good as it could have been. It’s quite interesting that when a group of people are in the same situation, they see, hear and know everything that went on yet, they view the outcome totally different. I can tell you that in this instance, even though we talked about taking positive energy in with us, this one person had been saying for weeks, that the outcome would be bad. He was fearing the worst and wasn’t expecting a good result. He perceived the outcome would be very negative. He in essence, got the outcome he was expecting, even though I viewed the outcome just the opposite.
One lesson we can learn from this is that taking responsibility for the energy you take into any space definitely influences the energy there. We all have the power to affect the energy in a room, good or bad. You can feel the energy in a room before anyone says anything. Use your energy for the good. Take control of it. Keep it positive and elevated.
The other lesson I observed is that you get what you expect. It goes back to the Law of Attraction; you attract what you focus on. When you continually declare a negative result, and fear what the result may be, you can be sure to receive it.
Our thought is a powerful attractive force. It is so important to guard it. Be aware of what your thought is at all times. The more aware you become, the more you can control it.
The same is true of your energy. Notice how you feel. Your feelings will tell you if your energy is positive or negative about something. The more aware you are of your feelings and in turn your energy, the more you will be able to adjust it when necessary. Having a positive energy and outlook always makes life better. Do your part to take responsibility and contribute to the energy you want to have in any situation, in your life and in your experience.
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We all have a story. Our life’s history is a story. But did you know you have another story you are living? It’s the story you tell yourself that dictates your life. It’s the story that holds you back or propels you to success.
You may not even be aware of this story. It is stored deep in the recesses of your mind and it controls the results and outcomes you experience. Essentially it is your programming. I’m going to call it a story here because you replay it and live it, most of the time totally unaware of what you’re doing.
This story is played over and over in your mind. It says, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m so stupid”, “I’m too ugly”, “I’m not worthy”, “I don’t deserve it”, “I’m not likeable.” This story is based on lies and an erroneous perception stemming from someone else’s limiting beliefs and erroneous story. In reality, the story you were fed had nothing to do with you. These beliefs are false, they are not true about you, or anyone. The truth is, you have unlimited potential, you are God’s highest form of creation, and you can do anything you decide to do and believe you can do.
If your life is not what you want it to be, it’s because your story and your beliefs are not permitting you to live bigger. When you think of yourself as defeated, you are. If you think of yourself as a loser, you’ve lost. If you think of yourself as sickly, you are. There is immense power in your thought. Pay attention to your thoughts and what you say, to yourself and out loud. Guard your thought as if your life depends on it, because it truly does.
A person’s story can affect their life in a multitude of ways, including health. You’ve probably heard of miraculous healings, people beating the odds. They were able to do that because of the story they told themselves and the beliefs they held. On the other hand, when you accept and believe anything negative related to your health, you are halfway to the results you don’t want to see manifested.
You cannot accept any idea into your thought that you don’t want manifested in your life. This is true even though it’s not what most people believe. It’s okay for you not to follow what the masses believe. Stand strong in your belief, in what you know is true for you, no matter what.
A positive mindset is critical to overcoming any challenge, put positive thinking alone will not create the change. A greater understanding of belief and how to change it is necessary. It’s that old programming that controls the outcomes we experience without any conscious thought. To change that programming, that story, takes repetition or reprogramming.
To change your beliefs, you must rewrite your story. Give yourself permission to dream about how you would like your life to be. What do you want to be, do, or have more of in your life that you haven’t been able to achieve? Start writing, with pen and paper. Writing causes thinking and thinking causes feelings and through the process you will find what you want, if you don’t already know it.
Writing can also have a reasoning affect. As you write, you will get into your feelings. Let your writing take you where it will. You can discover the real truth about you, that you are good enough, smart enough, you are beautiful, worthy, likeable and you deserve all the good you desire. You are re-writing your story the way you want it to be. Reason away the false beliefs you’ve been holding on to. Mentally create and visualize your life, your new story and you living it.
Write your new story. Create it with a positive tone, without any “not” or “no” words in it. Make it all very positive. You will use this new written story to override your limiting beliefs. You are also going to use this new story to reprogram your habitual negative thinking or self-talk. You do this by reading it every day, several times if possible. Record it and listen to yourself saying it, do this while you’re driving or exercising.
Repetition is the tool to change your story, to rewrite and improve your beliefs so you can live a better, fuller, happier life. The life you wish you could have. Stay with the repetition until you feel a new confidence and unwavering certainty about your new beliefs and your new story.
Write your new story the way you really want to live. As you accept your new story, your beliefs and your world will change. You will begin to see more of what you want in your life. You will be enjoying life on your terms, happy, healthy, and vibrant.
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How well you do anything is directly related to your self-image. You will always perform as well as you believe you are capable of performing. Another way of saying this is, you can never outperform your self-image. If you want to do better, you must first change your concept of yourself.
Whenever you are doing well and feeling good about yourself, you are exhibiting a positive self-image. The reverse is also true. Whenever you feel inferior, or do poorly, you are demonstrating your negative beliefs about yourself. Whatever is believed on the inside, is expressed on the outside and shows in your outer world.
The negative beliefs you have about yourself are not based on fact. They are self-limiting beliefs and doubts based on suggestions that you have accepted as true. They are lies. They are false information. When you begin to understand that these beliefs are limiting you, you can reject them and they will lose their power over you. To realize your true, unlimited potential, you must deliberately change your self-image.
Recognize that you are important, you are valued, and you have a contribution to make. The only place to correct the misconceptions you have of yourself are in your thinking. You don’t have to convince anyone other than you. Create a new dialogue about your image to negate the limiting beliefs running around in your mind. For example, “I am kind, I am intelligent, and I am loveable. I am able to do anything. I love myself and I deserve and accept love in my life.”
Mirror work is a great tool to change your self-image. Stand in front of the mirror and compliment yourself. Tell you that you love you. Put feeling into it. You may find it awkward at first but continue. It will eventually become more comfortable. Say things like, “I love my eyes because they allow me to see the beauty of nature. I love my feet because they take me where I want to go.” Come up with your own, new ones each day. Do this for a few minutes every day, looking at yourself in the mirror. Look yourself in the eye. Feel the love. Keep at it, it will get easier.
Another great tool is a Win Journal. Keep track of the good things you do, for yourself, your accomplishments, and things you’ve done for others. We tend to undervalue what we do. If I asked you, “name one thing you’ve accomplished this week”, how quickly can you respond with something? I’ve been asked that, and I’ve had to think about it, and then after a few minutes I’ll remember something great. A Win Journal keeps you aware of the good that you do. It helps build confidence by keeping your thought tuned into the good acts, reminding yourself, “Oh yes, I did that well, and I did this, etc.” A Win Journal helps you to recognize your value and contribution.
Where do our limiting beliefs come from? Most of them we learned growing up. Our parents taught them to us. They were doing the best they knew how, based on their own awareness and their own limiting beliefs. When we understand they weren’t purposefully hurting us, and most likely thought they were protecting or educating us, it helps to let that belief go. Tell yourself, “It was their belief, not mine, and I refuse to accept it in my life any longer!” Make this your decision. Then you can enjoy a new sense of freedom and control.
Improving your self-image can transform your world. You will have the confidence and belief in yourself to reach for your dreams, set lofty goals, and feel the freedom of living without worrying about other people’s opinions of you or anything you do. Believe in yourself. If you find that difficult, hang on to someone else’s belief in you. Find a mentor or friend who will support you and lift you up. I believe in you. Do the exercises and create the new self-image you want to have of yourself. It’s who you’re meant to be.
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The word paradigm is used often in the coaching field. “It’s your paradigm holding you back.” “You need a paradigm shift to change your results.” To give clients clarity, a good coach has to inform them what that means. Let’s dive into paradigms. I want to help you get a good understanding of what they are and the role they play in your life.
Bob Proctor defines paradigms as, “a multitude of habits stored in your subconscious mind”. Essentially it is our programming and our habitual behavior. And most of our behavior is habitual. The subconscious mind is the store house for our habits, memories, conditioned beliefs and self-image. It is our emotional mind. It has to accept any idea you give it and it cannot tell the difference between real or imagined. This is why affirmations work. Get my Affirmations Handout from the home page of my website, www.darlenecurlee.com.
We have been programmed
Most of our behaviors, attitudes and responses were learned as babies and toddlers. Others we learned through our life experience. Paradigms can be generations old. Our parents passed to us their paradigms, and many of their paradigms were passed to them from their parents.
Paradigms control our thinking, which controls the feelings and feelings control our behavior which in turn controls the results we see in our life. To get different results, start by changing your thinking and making a decision.
If you have a bad habit that you would like to eliminate, you must replace it with a desirable habit to put in its place. You can never get rid of a bad habit. It creates a void and that void will be filled with something. If you don’t decide to replace it with a good habit that you want to create, you are likely to find another bad habit there. You must consciously decide you will replace this habit with a new one.
Most of the time when we talk about habits, we mean a bad habit or negative behavior. But habits, just like paradigms, can also be good. If you have the habit of never being late anywhere, that’s a good habit, a positive paradigm. On the other hand, if you hit the snooze button every morning thinking you can sleep another ten minutes, then have to hurry to be on time, that’s also a paradigm. One that’s not so good.
Take the habit of hitting the snooze button. To change that habit, it takes a decision that you are no longer going to do that and that you will get up when the alarm goes off. To create this new habit will take a committed decision. Think about the reward for creating this new habit. In this case you would no longer feel rushed in the morning, you’d be starting your day with a calmer mind. Keep focused on the desired result of the change.
To make a new habit permanent, you need to do the new habit every day. You cannot miss a day, or you need start over. One study says that on average, it takes 66 days for the new behavior to become automatic. Even that can vary. It could be longer depending on the habit and how deeply ingrained it is in the subconscious mind. I recommend at least two months and see how it feels. If you have broken the old habit and replaced it and no longer have to be so deliberate about making the decision every day, then you are good to go. When you have conquered one habit then you can do another one. Never try to change too many at one time though. One or two at the most.
Create an affirmation for your new habit. Write out in present tense a statement affirming your new habit. For the example above it could be, “I’m so happy and grateful now that I get up as soon as my alarm goes off and I am relaxed and calm when I arrive at work.” You would not say, “I am grateful that I am not so rushed in the morning.” That won’t work. Anytime you put a not or a negative in there, the subconscious doesn’t get it. It would only hear that you rushed in the morning. So always use the positive opposite of the behavior you want to change.
In this example you are telling your subconscious mind that this new behavior is already happening. You say, “now that…”. As previously stated, the subconscious must accept whatever you tell it. It does not know the difference between real or imagined. Always write affirmations in the present tense. Never use “I will” or “I am going to”. Always use “I am”. Using “I am” has you in the process. “I will”, or “I’m going to” are future statements – something for tomorrow.
Repeat the affirmation throughout the day. Repetition is a must when changing a paradigm. Repeat it out loud. Put post it notes when you can see them. Record yourself and relisten to it, and say it in front of the mirror. You want to keep it in the front of your mind. This repetition will reprogram your subconscious to help you in achieving the new behavior that you desire.
Look forward to new results the changed behavior will give you. That is so exciting and can be very freeing. Get rid of unwanted habits. Continue to change another when you have successfully changed one. You could potentially change six habits a year. Just imagine what that will do for you!
In summary, the process to change a paradigm is:
Following these steps will give you the permanent change and improved results you want in your life. It starts with awareness. You must take an honest look at your current behaviors and really see what you’re doing that’s not serving you. When you can get honest about that, then you can begin the process of creating new paradigms that will serve you.
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