I want to share a recent conversation I had with someone because I think this situation is common and the insight can help many people. Mary had written a message to Sue, someone that hurt her in the past that she feels hatred towards. Mary read me what she had written. She was letting Sue know how she felt about her and that she never wants to see her again. Mary was asking me if she thought she should send it. Mary thought by sending this it would make her feel better once she lets Sue know how she feels about her. I was glad she hadn’t sent it yet.
Mary told me this came up because in unpacking and sorting from a recent move, she kept seeing a photo of Sue and knew that it was time to deal with these feelings towards her. I told her she definitely needed to put this to rest so that she, Mary, would be free of these negative feelings. The photo was just a reminder to deal with it now. I then suggested a better way to release this negativity towards Sue.
What Mary had initially written was short. I suggested that she write down on a piece of paper everything she wants to tell Sue. Really get her feelings out and on the paper. After she has done that to then take the paper and burn it or shred it. This would allow her to get all her feelings out and release them.
The act of burning or shredding is symbolic and the idea behind it is important. When actually doing the shredding or burning, you want to mentally release the feelings you’ve written on the paper. See yourself happy and free, feeling the way you want to feel once you’ve released the negativity. After you let the feelings go, don’t look for them to see if they’re really gone. Let them go all the way. Notice in yourself an uplifted free feeling. For some, letting these negative feelings go may be a very emotional experience. Besides feeling free you may also feel relief, joy or exhilaration.
And then express gratitude for your feelings of happiness and freedom. (Don’t express gratitude for not having the negative feelings anymore. It takes you right back to them.)
We never want to carry hatred inside of us. It only hurts the person holding on to it. It will literally eat you up from the inside out. It must be released so that you can live freely without carrying that burden. Do it for yourself. Let it go!
Had Mary sent the letter to Sue, the feelings would not have been released. In fact, it would most likely have created deeper hatred or resentment. It’s not likely that she could have made Sue feel bad. Even if she did that wouldn’t have solved anything. It only would perpetuate the negative feelings and Mary would not have experienced the release she was looking for. The best place to heal anything is within ourself. It’s our own thinking and feeling about anything that can be changed and healed.
I also suggested to Mary to include forgiveness in this process. Forgiveness means to let go of completely. The person being forgiven usually never even knows you’re forgiving them and often they don’t recognize they need forgiving. They don’t need to know they’re being forgiven. It’s for the benefit of the forgiver, which can be life changing. In the forgiving, the hatred can be released. Forgiveness comes from the heart, not from the head.
This reminds me of my daily gratitude which includes sending love to those that bother you. It too is a transformative process. I’ve created a gratitude journal template, with instructions, that explains the practice of daily gratitude, including asking for daily guidance and sending love. If you’re new to gratitude you will find these tools very helpful. Download your free copy through this link: https://bit.ly/2nlU3TY.
I know this process of releasing bad feelings works. I share this in hopes that it will help you. I want everyone to enjoy a life of freedom, good health and positive energy. We grow by going through experiences such as Mary’s. Each time we move through any difficulty, it proves to us that we can do it and we can become a better version of ourself when we do. I encourage you to release your negative feelings and step into a life of larger freedom and happiness.
Image by Mariana Marquez from Pixabay.