Thinking is the one mental function each of us have that is 100% controllable. The problem is most people don’t think. They let what’s going on around them control their thoughts and feelings. To choose your thoughts and to think the way you want to think requires much more effort and energy than it does to think thoughts that come from outside sources or influences.

Wallace Wattles, author of The Science of Getting Rich says, “There is no labor from which people shrink as they do from that of sustained and consecutive thought; it is the hardest work in the world.” But that is what must be done in order to control your thinking, to respond and not react, and to guard your thought from intrusive negativity.

How often have you heard someone say, “I can’t help how I feel”, or “I can’t help how I think.” They just don’t know any better. We CAN control our thinking. Thinking creates feelings and feelings create actions. Action then creates our life, our outer world, and the results we get.

It starts with awareness. Noticing what you’re thinking, how you’re feeling, and what triggers you to think and feel a certain way. I have a friend that has created the habit of saying, “interesting”, and then goes into where the feelings are coming from, rather than letting it trigger or upset her. When staying out of the negativity, it’s easier to be more objective in looking at those thoughts and to sort it out.
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Often, it’s those closest to us that trigger the negative thoughts and feelings. I’ve experienced family members making remarks aimed at me that can be hurtful or upsetting. With persistent effort I am getting better at letting it roll off, so it doesn’t touch my core. Realizing each person has their own journey and lessons to learn has been helpful in controlling my thoughts and feelings. We can’t control anyone else’s thoughts, only our own. I choose to stay above the problem, stay out of the hurt, and don’t go down in it. Filling my thought with love, staying out of anger, worry and hurt allows me to maintain my peace and joy.

Let’s look at thoughts that will get you the results you want in your life. You must think thoughts of possibility, affirm what you want, and believe you can have it. You must never entertain doubtful thoughts. They will stop you from getting what you want. Jack Canfield says, “1% doubt and you’re out.” Keep feeding your mind positive, empowering thoughts. Consistently affirm what you want to show up in your life and you will eventually believe it, if you don’t already. You have to have unwavering belief that you can have what you want.

Guard your mind and the thoughts you let in. Be careful about what thoughts you entertain. You MUST NOT let anyone else steal your dream, not even yourself and the voices in your head that shout limiting thoughts at you. If you have the dream, there is a way for it to happen, even if you don’t know how. Replace the limited thinking with thoughts of “I am. I can. I will.”  You have unlimited potential just waiting to emerge. Start thinking thoughts of possibility, thoughts of encouragement and empowerment.

Use your thinking mind to learn and decide for yourself what you want to accept as true. Don’t let someone else do your thinking for you. It's easy to get bombarded by the media. You must be diligent in deciphering what thoughts you want to let into your mind. Don’t let outside influences control your thinking. You must maintain that control and decide for yourself. In fact, be careful how much media you even pay attention to.

Being aware of your thinking is the first step in recognizing that you CAN choose the thoughts you think. Be persistent in your awareness. With practice it’ll get easier. Always strive to elevate your thought. Keep your thoughts positive, and your mind open to receiving what the universe and God has in store for you. You are then on your way to living your best life.

Photo by Rebe Pascual on Unsplash

You really can have anything you want. You have the potential to create whatever you want in your life. BUT, if you have the least bit of doubt that you can do it, that you can have it, that you deserve it or that it’s possible, it won’t happen. You MUST HAVE BELIEF to accomplish your goals and desires.

You must believe you can do it, even if you don’t know how. You must believe that you can have it. You must believe that you deserve it. You must believe that it is possible for YOU! It’s not necessary to have it figured out, to know how, when or where the resources are coming from. You just have to believe. Then start taking action to move toward your goal and the rest will show up when you need it, as long as you believe, focus and take action.

Beliefs are thoughts that you keep thinking over and over until it is ingrained into your mind. We can use affirmations to change beliefs. Create a positive statement, in the present tense, of what you want to have or create. Repeat it over and over. Post it where you can see it many times throughout the day. You are reprogramming your mind to believe this new truth about you. You are creating a new belief.

William James is quoted, “Belief creates the actual fact.”

Affirmations work for anything, creating wealth, health, fitness, relationships, travel, or anything else you want to manifest in your life or habits you want to form. For example, you want to release weight and drop two sizes, you could say, “I am so comfortable in my body and I feel so good wearing a size 10. I love how my clothes fit me.” Always keep it positive, never use any negative words like lost weight, or not, don’t, un___, or other negative words in general.

Most beliefs are based on past experiences. Many we gained as children. Our parents taught us their beliefs. Examine your beliefs and where they came from. Are they empowering, positive, happy? Or are they limiting, negative and fearful or self-deprecating? A belief is not necessarily a truth. As we gain knowledge, as we learn and understand on a deeper level, our beliefs can change.

Creating an awareness of what your beliefs really are and where they come from can help you to decide if it’s true or not, and if you really want to keep that belief or let it go. Many beliefs we need to let go of if we really want to live the life we want and find greater freedom. Limiting beliefs stop us from moving forward, they keep us stuck where we are. If you feel stuck, look at your beliefs. Is that what’s keeping you where you are? Probably.

Our beliefs form our perceptions. This can be quite a subtle way of limiting your life. The way you see something, comes from what you believe about it. But this too may not be the real truth. Everything just is…until we put our own spin on it and make it either good or bad. How many times have you observed a person seeing something as good, and someone else will see the exact same thing and think it’s bad? It happens a lot. It’s based on perception and belief.

To achieve more in life and to live a better life, limiting beliefs must be replaced with empowering beliefs. You must create a new mental story to replay in your thinking. Stop the broken record of “I’m not good enough, I’ll could never do that”, etc. Consistent, positive, empowering affirmations will rewire your mind to take you where you want to go. Choose thoughts like, “I am good enough, I am deserving of every good in life. I am making a difference. I am manifesting my desires.” Stick with it. Be aware of your thoughts and beliefs. Correct any negative ones right away. Don’t let them in. Guard your thought.

Napoleon Hill says, “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” You absolutely have unlimited potential and can achieve anything you want, as long as you believe you can! I believe in you. Now you believe in yourself and go achieve your dreams!

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There certainly seems to be a lot going on in our world right now with the pandemic, economic issues and add to that the protests and rioting around race issues. It is indeed a sad situation. But it is also the time for us to command control of our own thinking and to not get sucked into the turmoil.

​We must never forget, the one thing that cannot ever be taken away from us is our right to think and choose our own thoughts. While observing what’s going on, we must be very careful to keep our own thought above it. Problems are not solved with the same thinking that created the problem. It is essential to keep our thoughts above the problems, focused on harmony and love. The solutions will then become clear.
 
The great leaders, Buddha, Jesus, and Muhammad to name a few, have all agreed, you must love your neighbor and love yourself. This is always the essential factor, they said.
 
Marin Luther King, Jr. addressed the topic of love many times. He said, “At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love.” He held to the principle that all are created equal and that there “can be no place for political violence.” He also said, “Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” and “Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.” Love is truly the answer.
 
Months into the pandemic and many of us have seen a lot of good come from it. There has been a lot of “loving your neighbor” going on, much kindness being expressed, more than prior to the onset of the virus and quarantine. That should become the basis of our new normal, as we then strive to improve on that and love even more. Each day ask yourself, what can I do today to show love more than I did yesterday?
 
George Harrison said, “With our love, we could save the world.” We must hold to the truth that love is more powerful than hate. Love CAN overcome all. What we think and do to show love, can and will have an impact on the world. “Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule” says Buddha.
 
We must refuse to let our thinking be influenced by the masses and be fully aware of the thought choices we make. We must not let fear grab hold but instead have faith and trust that good will prevail. By loving others and ourselves, we can turn the tide. We can do something about all the turmoil. And it starts with our thought and filling it with love. Love for each other and love for mankind.
 
Euripides said, “Love is all we have, the only way that each can help the other.” As we maintain control of our thinking, fill it with love for all, and keep it focused on the good outcome we want, then we can truly help the world thought and improve the world situation. Be certain to not let outside negativity and fear have any hold on your thought. We must be persistent in our efforts to improve our thinking and maintain love filled thoughts. When we do this, Love must prevail… Love WILL prevail!

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Are you a quitter? What is the first thing that comes to your mind when I ask that? Do you think I’m asking you if you don’t follow through and finish what you start? Being a quitter isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It depends on how the word is used or the perspective being viewed.
 
I’ve said many times, the only people that fail are the ones that quit. This is referring to working towards a goal and it’s by law, universal law, that you will reach your goal if you don’t quit. As long as you persist and continually take action to move toward your goal, you will get there. Not following through with a goal, not finishing what you start, is quitting. If you notice that often you seem to stop before you’re done, that you seem to give up before completion, you might want to consider what is causing that behavior. (Check out the link at the end of this article.) Don’t be this kind of quitter.
 
There is a positive side to quitting. If you were to quit quitting, as in the previously mentioned behavior, that would be a very positive decision. We all have habitual thinking and habits that if we quit them, it would make a huge difference in our life. Imagine how different your life could be if you quit just one habit from the following list:  

• Quit negative self-talk
• Quit feeling unworthy
• Quit worrying about things you can’t change
• Quit letting fear keep you stuck
• Quit feeling like you’re responsible for others’ happiness
• Quit wishing things could be like they used to be
• Quit over analyzing things
• Quit procrastinating

In this sense, quitting is positive. But don’t try to change more than two at once. Although generally speaking, the word quit, quitting, quitter, does have a negativity associated with it, quitting these is a good thing.
 
Let’s focus on the positivity associated with quitting any of the habits listed. The place to handle these habits is in the mind. What really needs to happen is to replace any of these negative habits with a positive habit. Removing a habit creates a void, which will always be filled with something, be it your choice or not. You want to select the habit you want in its place. Find the opposite behavior and create that as the habit to put in its place.
 
First, it starts with awareness. You can’t change anything if you’re not aware you’re doing it. If you will really examine your thinking and actions, I’ll bet you will discover that you have some of the above listed habits. Can you see that by changing even just one of these habits, could have such a positive impact on your life?
 
Let’s look at “quit negative self-talk.” Aside from the fact that negative self-talk is so detrimental to your self-image, become aware of every time you say something bad about yourself. Saying it in your head is equally as bad as saying it out loud. Examples are “I’m not smart enough”, “I’m not pretty enough”, “I can’t do that”, “I’m too fat”, “I’m too skinny”, “I don’t deserve something so good”, “I’m not as good as her”, “why would they want to know me?”, “ I’m not…I can’t…I don’t”, you get the idea. Learn to catch yourself before you say it or think it.
 
Then replace it with the opposite. “I am smart enough, I can do it, I am comfortable in my skin, I’m the perfect size, I deserve it, I am good enough, I have much to offer, I am, I can, I do.” When you impress upon your mind the positive statements with feeling, you will notice a shift in your thinking. Confidence will improve. Opportunities to exercise the positive statements will show up and you will be altering your behavior and your results.
 
What could your life look like if you changed your self talk? What would it FEEL like to have confidence and self-assurance, a positive self-image? Love yourself. No one is perfect, that’s a perception. Love yourself the way God created you, a perfect spiritual being.
 
Take the same approach for other habits you want to quit. First be aware. Catch yourself doing the habit you don’t want. Select the opposite behavior to put in its place and create that habit. Feel what it’s like when you have a new habit in its place. Add to this positive affirmations to repeat everyday. They will enforce the new habit, the new thinking. Make a committed decision that you will make this shift to improve your habits. When you have established it as a new habit, you have just quit one behavior on the list.
 
Words are powerful. Because the word quit commonly has a negative meaning, change it. Be a shifter, rather than a quitter. Shift your habitual thinking. Shift your habits. Shift your life. Replace negativity with positivity. Replace unproductive habits with productive habits.
 
Then when someone asks if you’re a quitter, you can proudly and confidently say, “I am a shifter. I have quit the negative habits and shifted my life, one habit at a time.”
 
 If you would like to learn more about shifting habits, listen to Bob Proctor’s seminar, Paradigm Shift. Register for free from this link, https://bit.ly/33IrbG8, and enjoy the recording of his live weekend seminar.

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Attitude has been called the Magic Word, and the most important word in the world as far as the results we get from life are concerned. Earl Nightingale says, "It is our attitude toward life which determines life's attitude toward us."  That is the Law of Attraction, you get back what you put out.

Attitude is a choice. Yet, most people’s attitude is being controlled by the media, by other people, or the conditions and circumstances in their life. One’s attitude has a huge effect on the quality of life lived.

But what actually is attitude? It is the composite of your thoughts, feelings and actions. It’s the thoughts you choose, the nature of a thought then determines your feelings, which are then expressed through actions.

Your attitude is determined by the nature of the ideas that you choose and permit yourself to get emotionally involved in. The physical expression is automatic.

Earl nightingale says: “Our environment, the world in which we live and work, is a mirror of our attitudes and expectations.” He’s saying that we create our environment by the actions that come from our emotionalized thoughts. When you look at what’s going on in someone’s life, and observe their results, you can tell what they're thinking.

Viktor Frankl is an author who describes his life in the Nazi death camps in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning. He says, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” This is coming from someone who saw and experienced the horrors of the Holocaust firsthand, who was able to survive because he chose his attitude, even in the direst of situations. How much easier it should be for us to choose an attitude that will lead to the results and life we want!

Some examples of common positive attitudes are humor, belief in yourself, success, optimism, happiness, faithfulness, being thoughtful, just to name a few. Ralph Marston says, “Excellence is not a skill, it’s an attitude.” My favorite attitude is gratitude. You can’t be thinking gratitude and have negative thoughts.

Negative attitudes would be pessimism, jealousy, hostility, sarcasm and laziness. All attitudes, positive and negative, are choices. What we think, what we feel and what we do form our attitude. We have the power within ourselves to shift our thinking, to control the outcome we truly desire, when we have an improved positive attitude.

The author William James is quoted saying, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.”

You’ve probably heard the saying, when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade. That is the attitude that good can be found in everything. And that is something that I strongly believe. It may not be evident immediately, but you can look for the good in every situation, regardless.

What if everyone had this attitude: “I believe the world is plotting to do me good today, I can’t wait to see what it is!”  Just imagine how things would be different. It will require a change of habitual thinking, but with awareness and persistence you CAN make the shift.

Remember to choose the attitude that will bring you the results you want. By shifting our thoughts, we can strive for an attitude of positivity that moves us toward the life and happiness we really desire and truly deserve.

Photo by Nicole Pearce on Unsplash

​The Law of Attraction states that whatever you think about and focus on is what you attract into your life.  Visioneering is the process of making a vision or a dream a reality. It is a powerful tool to use with the Law of Attraction when manifesting what you want.
 
DECIDE
The first step in the visioneering process is to decide exactly what you want. What is your dream? You must get crystal clear on what you want. Writing it out with pen and paper will help you get clarity because writing causes thinking. Be detailed about what it looks like. Use your imagination to visualize what it looks like. You want to paint a mental image in your mind of what it looks like. When you are clear then you can take this dream, this vision, and turn it into your goal. It should be something that you really want, not something that you THINK you can do or have.
 
Use your imagination to create the image of what you want. Go inward to create the image. See the image in color with as many details as possible. Evoke your will to hold this image on the screen of your mind to the exclusion of all else. If your mind wanders, bring it back to your desire, to your goal.
 
FOCUS
As you hold image on the screen of your mind, it is magnetized to you. Focus on the image often. Meditate on the image. Visualize throughout the day. That is how the Law of Attraction works.
 
It’s important to focus in a relaxed way. You can’t be anxious because you really need this thing to manifest. When you focus too hard, with too much force, it hinders it coming to you. It must be done with ease. Force puts up resistance. Don’t try too hard. Let go of any resistance.
 
FEELINGS
Feelings are critical. You must feel what it’s like once it’s manifested. Get into the vibration of what you want to attract. Feel as if you already have your desire. Engage all your senses to help you get into the feeling of it. You are already picturing it in your mind, now what are your other senses telling you? What do you hear, smell, and feel that come with your realized goal? Allow yourself to feel that it’s in your life right now!
 
Using your physical senses will especially help you to FEEL into the image when you are having difficulty actually “seeing” the image. If you can get into the feeling of it and think about it, you can still have the same results.
 
GRATITUDE
Gratitude is always important, even so with visioneering. You want to really feel gratitude. Get into a place of extreme gratitude. The energy of gratitude has no limits and has no bounds. It is one of the highest vibrational states possible. Gratitude will always shift you into a positive focus. You can’t be thinking gratitude and something negative at the same time.
 
Gratitude really is the key to unlocking any result you wish to receive in your life. It is a powerful process for shifting your energy and attracting what you want.
 
BELIEF
You must believe you can have it. You must believe that you can do it, and you must believe that you deserve it. Have definite belief that it’s possible for you. If you have any doubt, it won’t happen.
 
William James said, “Belief creates the actual fact.” You can never go beyond where you believe you can go. You must have belief!
 
AFFIRMATIONS
Use affirmations to give your image positive energy. Affirmations help to get rid any doubt or fear you may be holding, even if subconsciously. Affirmations build belief and help you to keep the image you’re visualizing on screen of your mind. Always create affirmations in the present tense, like it’s already happened. And repeat them often. Read them, say them out loud, say them in front of the mirror. It helps you to practice the feeling of what you want as though it’s real and possible. Put feeling into the affirmations, it’s a MUST!
 
THIS OR SOMETHING BETTER
The phrase “This or something better” opens possibilities to more than you imagined. Add this to the end of your affirmations to make them more powerful. The following affirmation came from Shakti Gawain’s book, Creative Visualization, “This or something better, now manifests for me in totally satisfying and harmonious ways, for the highest good of all concerned.” Finish off your affirmations with that for added impact.
 
MY STORY
For many years I visualized the Hill Country home I wanted. I hand wrote in detail what it looked like, the features it would have, and it became more defined the more I thought about it. I was picturing what it looked like in my mind. When my husband retired, we moved to a small town in the Hill Country, into a cute little home we found in the general area we wanted to live in. It wasn’t the dream home I envisioned, but we loved it. Although we knew it wasn’t our final destination, it got us in the right location.
 
It wasn’t long before we realized we had outgrown the home, our son was living with us at the time and commuting to work, and our daughter and her 2 babies came for extended visits. One night I felt compelled to look on Realtor.com, and there it was! Our dream home! It was perfect, and it was new on the market. We looked at it the next day, fell in love and went under contract.
 
Gratefully they accepted our contingency, but a lot had to happen before we could close on the home and become the new owners. My husband had doubts, but I never did. It was what I had been seeing, believing and visualizing all along. We had to sell 2 homes, one had been on the market for 6 months, the other we were living in.
 
I clarified my goal, wrote it on an affirmation card, and kept in front of me reading it every day, and often. I was very detailed in my affirmation, including addresses, names, features and dates. When we closed on the property and became the owners, it was a month later than the date I had on the card. But that’s OK. Dates can change. Everything worked out beautifully and I am so grateful every day for our home and where we live.
 
VISUALIZE
For best results, Visualize in the morning and at night, and as often as you can throughout the day, even if it’s for just 30, 60 or 90 seconds. When you hold this image in your mind, the Law of Attraction will magnetize it to you.
 
This process of visioneering, when used consistently, can help you reach your goal, see your way to success and create the life you want, just as it did for me. You can manifest anything you want by using the Law of Attraction and the powerful tool of visualization and visioneering.
 
What do you want? What is your dream? Decide what you want, see it, believe it and affirm it and you CAN have it!

Image by jiao tang from Pixabay 

In my studies this week, the following sentence caught my attention. “You are the only one standing in your way.” It’s not the first time I’ve heard it, but I heard it differently this time. In personal growth, studying things repeatedly is important because every time you read it or hear it, you are at a different place in your growth, so you hear it differently each time. Internalizing an idea, making it personal to you and applying it in your life is how we grow from the ideas that we learn and understand in our growth journey.
 
Let’s examine what this really means … “you are the only one standing in your way”. It applies to achievement, to accomplishing something that is out of your comfort zone. It applies to doing something that scares you, that seems difficult, that you want to do but yet you stop yourself. Something is holding you back. Fear is keeping you where you are. Inside you want to grow and stretch yourself but you have doubt in your ability. Or if you do start towards it, you can’t quite get there because you’re not really all in, you haven’t totally committed. Fear, doubt, and your limiting beliefs are controlling your results, keeping you from growing and expanding your life.
 
A good example of this is one summer when I was about 8 or 9 my family went on vacation. We spent one night at a motel that had a pool with a slide, and it looked big to me. I loved to swim. I loved being in the water but had never seen a pool with a slide and had certainly never been down a pool slide. I saw other people going down the slide, but I was scared. It took a lot of time and coaxing from my parents before I had the courage to even consider going down the slide. I hung out at the end of the pool near the slide, watched others go down, laughing and having fun, and finally decided I would try. I got out of the water and walked to the slide when there wasn’t anyone else using it. I stood there a few minutes before climbing up the ladder. When I got to the top I waited, sat down a few minutes before bravely releasing myself to slide down and splash into the water. When I came up for air, I was ecstatic. It was a blast and I couldn’t wait to do it again. That is all I did for the remaining time at the pool that evening, going up and down the slide as many times as I could. I hated for it to end.
 
I was so glad I found the courage to use the slide. I knew then how much fun I would have missed if I had let myself stand in my own way of having that incredible experience on the slide. How long would I have lived in fear of going down a slide? How long would I have just sat on the side of the pool watching the others have fun before I would have decided to do it? How much time would have been wasted and how much fun would have been missed if I had let fear stop me?
 
I am so grateful I found the courage that day and for the encouragement of my parents. I proved to myself that I could push through fear, and accomplish what seemed scary, without any negative results. That experience has stayed with me. I learned the importance of not letting fear get in my way. I learned the importance of not letting myself stand in the way of doing what I wanted to do and experiencing the growth that comes with it.
 
This quote by Joseph Campbell sums it up nicely. He said, “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” When you enter that “cave” and come out on the other side, you will feel and experience such a heightened sense of joy, exhilaration and a huge sense of accomplishment. You become confident in your abilities and your self-esteem grows. Like me, I wanted more. I wanted to do it again. Once you do that “hard thing”, you gain the confidence to take on another “hard thing.”
 
What is holding you back? What is standing in your way? It is limiting beliefs. They will stop us dead in our tracks if we let them. Where did these beliefs come from? They came from our parents, the people who raised us. Their beliefs were passed down to us. Their limited awareness and their limiting beliefs were passed down to them from their parents. As our awareness expands, we come to understand that those beliefs did not originate in us and we no longer have to accept them as our own.
 
Removing or changing those limiting beliefs and fears will take some effort. They are your paradigms, your habits and habitual thinking, and they don’t like change. You must replace the negative paradigm with a positive habit or positive thinking that you want in its place. You do this with repetition.
 
Decide the habit or thought that you want instead of the fear or limiting thoughts. Use affirmations and repeat them over and over. Write them out every day. You must reprogram your thinking to push you through the fear and move you out of your own way. The good that you want is on the other side of fear. Be persistent when creating this new habit or belief. A previous blog goes deeper into Paradigms here: http://www.darlenecurlee.com/inspirationsblog/paradigm-whats-that.
 
Will Smith has a great video about fear and skydiving that powerfully illustrates the joy of overcoming your fear. You can watch it here: https://youtu.be/bFIB05LGtMs  Will sums it up in this way, “God placed the best things in life on the other side of fear.”
 
When we push through and do what we were afraid of, we realize it wasn’t bad at all and wonder why it took so long, “why didn’t I do it sooner?”.  We learn that in reality there is nothing to be afraid of. Instead of missing out, go for it, get out of your way. There is so much to gain. The good, the treasure as Campbell calls it, is waiting for you.

Image by antoine carrion from Pixabay 

Have you ever told yourself you’re going to do something, but you don’t? You have every intention of creating that new habit, or doing that project, and for whatever reason, it doesn’t get done. I think most of us struggle with this at one time or another. Even when you know that if you did this, things would improve, or your life would get better. But what is holding you back? Most of the time the reason it doesn’t happen is because your paradigm is in control, and you haven’t really made a decision, a committed decision.

The knowing doing gap is knowing what to do to make an improved change, but not doing it and not knowing why. We keep doing things that we know won’t give us the results we want. We say we will make a change, but excuses come up, distractions happen, and we are easily deterred from doing what we know we should do. But let’s not “should” all over ourself. Let’s get to the bottom of why it happens and what can be done to get the results you want.

We first must understand that it is our paradigms that keep us where we are. It is our mental programming, our habitual thinking that keeps us stuck. In order for something to change, we must change the paradigm. A paradigm will talk you out of anything you decide to do that takes you out of your comfort zone. It is the primary cause of results.

In order to experience permanent change, we must change the primary cause, the paradigm.  It is more than just changing behavior. If we don’t change the paradigm, any behavioral change will not last. To change the paradigm will require persistence.

First you must decide what you really want. If it’s something someone else wants for you, or things you think you should do, that’s not good enough. It must come from inside you. So how do you find a strong enough WHY to reach what you want? Look at the results you will get when you make the change. You have to WANT that change bad enough so that you are willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish it, to get the results you truly desire.

This is true no matter what you are trying to do, whether it’s to reach a certain weight, quit smoking, establish a morning routine, or anything that requires a change of habit or starting something new.
When you recognize how the paradigm is controlling your behavior, then you can begin to change it. It’s important to note that you can’t just remove a bad habit, you must replace it with the habit or behavior that you desire. Removing a habit creates a void and a void will always be filled, and you want to fill it with what you want, and not let it be open to any thing that comes along. You be in control. You decide.

So, what do you want? What habit would you like to change or start? Your want must be something strong enough that you will persist and push through any obstacles that come up. Keep the end result in mind. You must decide that this is what you’re going to do. Nothing happens until a decision is made. It must be a committed decision. When you are committed and your want is strong enough, you will not let anything get in your way. You may need to use your will to help you somedays, and that’s fine. That need will diminish as you progress.

Even the slightest change can make a huge difference in your outcome. Take baby steps as you start if necessary. Don’t take on too many changes at once, just one or two at a time. Once those are established, then make another change. Keep going. The only people who fail are the ones who give up.

When you begin to change your paradigms and see how you are in control of your results, you can then begin to go after the goals that you want. You now understand why you get the results you get, and you know what you need to do to change them.

Examine your habits. Find one habit you can change that will make a big difference in your life, decide you are going to change it, believe you can make it happen, take action and start! You can do it! Anything is possible when you make up your mind and understand how to create the changes and life you want. And don’t forget to celebrate your accomplishments.

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One of my favorite lessons in my coaching program, Thinking Into Results, which is also in Wallace Wattles book, The Science of Getting Rich, is the Impression of Increase. Bob Proctor calls it the number one key to success. It is the premise of givers gain, which is based on the Law of Cause and Effect. As spiritual beings, it is normal and natural to seek increase. It is the urge of the spiritual essence in each one of us to find fuller expression.

Wattles states, “The desire for increase is inherent in all nature. It is the fundamental impulse of the universe. All human activities are based on the desire for increase. People are seeking more food, more clothes, better shelter, more luxury, more beauty, more knowledge, more pleasure – more life.”

Life is seeking expression. People will seek increase and will go where they find it. Increase is energy. Giving good energy or increase to everyone you meet is much the same as attracting good to you. When you give what others are seeking, you will in turn receive abundantly.

Giving must be spontaneous. When you are honest in your efforts to leave everyone with the impression of increase, it puts you in harmony with the higher side of the other person’s personality. Let your actions show that you are a giver.

There are all kinds of ways to give or leave someone with the impression of increase. It can be as simple as holding the door for someone, or a sharing a smile. Complimenting their dress or hair style, done sincerely, can have an enormous impact on someone else. We never know the profound impact that a small kind act or compliment can really have on someone. It needs to be made genuinely and without expecting anything in return.

Giving should be a habit. Learning to willingly give and generously receive can be life altering.  You will find abundant good coming your way. It goes back to the law of cause and effect. The universe sends back to us what we give out.

Practice doing this with three people. Consider how you can leave them with the impression of increase every time you come in contact with them, whether in person or in communications. Continue this practice with these same people and you will find it will develop into a habit. This will expand and you will soon find you are leaving everyone you meet with the impression of increase.

Always give your best. Become the most effective person you can be. Give freely without thought of what you will receive in return. You will be providing increase where it is needed and sought. You then will be blessed with riches and abundance in life, and you will be in harmony with the laws of the universe, demonstrating that givers gain.

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“The moment you permit your mind to dwell with displeasure upon things as they are, you begin to lose ground. You fix attention upon the common, the poor, the squalid, and the mean – and your mind takes the form of these things.” This is a quote by Wallace D. Wattles from his book, The Science of Getting Rich. He goes on to say in the same chapter on Gratitude, “The grateful mind is constantly fixed upon the best. Therefore, it tends to become the best; it takes the form or character of the best and will receive the best.”
 
It’s really important to pay close attention to what our mind is dwelling on, especially during this pandemic when so many are feeling distressed or “stuck” at home. Take a step back and know that everything “just is”. It is neither good nor bad until we perceive it to be a certain way. If the current situation is perceived as bad, then it will be a negative experience for the perceiver. If it is perceived as good, and the benefits are seen and appreciated, the experience will be positive and productive. Your thinking mind can make any situation good or bad, positive or negative. It’s all up to you. You get to decide how you want to make it.
 
A grateful mind is always looking for what’s good. It appreciates the good in every situation. Wattles calls it “the best”. When a mind is constantly searching for and seeing the good in everything, it becomes the goodness it sees. As Wattles says, “…it takes the form or character of the best AND will RECEIVE the best.” When you only see the “best”, what may have been a displeasure, is no longer. The displeasure is removed when always looking for and seeing the good. It is impossible to receive anything but the best because you are focused on best. Any negativity can’t exist in a mind that sees the good in everything. You therefore MUST attract to you the best. It’s by Law.
 
To cultivate a grateful mind, to always see the best, make a habit of practicing gratitude daily. Doing so can totally change your outlook. Gratitude is one of the highest vibrations. My clients often hear me tell them to turn to gratitude when facing difficulties, or any time their vibration is low. It’s impossible to be negative and grateful at the same time. They are opposites.
 
To keep your vibration high, stay away from newscasts, controversies and anything other than what’s good about the current situation. Just a couple minutes of news to stay informed is plenty. That’s enough time to learn what you need to know so that you won’t be ignorant about what’s going on. To flood your mind with 30 minutes, an hour or more, listening to show after show about the coronavirus will not help your mental state. Tune into things that are pleasurable. Find some good books to read like the Science of Getting Rich that will put you in a positive state. Protecting your mind and guarding what you let in, is always extremely important.
 
The Science of Getting Rich, is a wonderful book that has impacted many lives. The chapter on Gratitude is so powerful it makes for a great study on its own. Wattles tells us it is necessary to cultivate the habit of being grateful for everything, to give thanks continuously. Let’s start this new habit and expand our awareness of gratitude by starting our own study of this chapter. I challenge you to read this chapter everyday for 30 days. I am starting today and invite you to do the same. In 30 days, let me know what this new habit has done for your life. Find a partner to read with everyday. It’ll have you focused on looking for and seeing the “best” of everything life has to offer.

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